When it comes to Halloween in the workplace, just call me Scrooge.

A reader writes,

Hi, Robin. I dread the prospect of employees coming to work in inappropriate Halloween costumes. I've seen costumes that are sexually provocative, or that reflect racial or ethnic stereotypes. Some people even say that employers shouldn't have Halloween ...

It was a dark and stormy night.

Creeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaak . . .

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaughhhhhhhhhh . . .

In honor of Halloween, here are nine things employers say that strike terror in the hearts of their lawyers. CAUTION: Pregnant women, anyone with a heart condition or seizure disorder, and anyone who is easily upset should stop reading NOW!!!!

No one will be seated after the ...

Is obesity a "disability" entitled to protection under the Americans with Disabilities Act?

As our nation allegedly gets more zaftig this question could take on enormous significance.

(By the way, did you know that Marilyn Monroe really was not a size 14 but smaller than a size 2? It's a fact! I am so disappointed. I loved the idea of a size-14 sex symbol.)

"Obesity" is medically defined ...

"Ai, ai . . . ai, ai . . . have you ever danced in the tropics,

In that lazy, hazy, like

Kind of crazy, like

South American way?

"Ai, ai . . . ai, ai . . . have you ever kissed in the moonlight,

in the grand and glorious,

gay notorious*

South American way?"

*Those really are the words to the song.

Down South America Way, © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., EMI Music Publishing.

Oh, those wild and crazy ...